The first person, let’s call her Helen, was a graduate student studying ecology. We talked about animal population characteristics for a few minutes. Then I told her I worked in IT for a large mortgage bank. Shockingly, she asked for more detail. So I explained a little bit about what I did in the most introductory way I could: I build computer systems that handle mortgage fraud and risk. With the mortgage crisis dominating the news, I figured framing my job that way might elicit a strong response. Instead, she smiled a very genuine “Ah, cool” combination and we proceeded onto the next topic.

Second shot. Another graduate student, Dan. He studies mathematical models that describe how plants propagate. (Related to emergence theory.) A highly technical person, Dan would certainly be interested in the cooler aspects of IT. I spent a good 10 minutes (significant at a party) probing him about his work, which he was more than willing to talk about. I made sure I did the Covey’esque-thing of making deposits into his emotional bank account so that when it was my turn to talk, he would oblige me with the same attention. He finished his rundown with some admittedly interesting anecdotes about plant propagation patterns, then inquired about what I was doing.

I hit him with the best story I had (even though it wasn’t exactly what I did).

“Do you know what the number one item that men, aged between 30 and 35, buy on Thursdays after work with a bag of diapers?”

“No, what?”

“A six pack of beer. So, grocery stores put diapers and beer on opposite sides of the store so you have to walk past all the other stuff. The work I do on mortgages is similar to that.”

“Oh, wow.”

At this point I expected him to ask how IT systems figure that stuff out. But he didn’t. He made eye contact with some other friends and politely moved on.

Was it something I said?

I’m not sure if it was a failure or just a lack of success, but what I got out of it was that my big guns didn’t work on a technically savvy person who, theoretically, should have been receptive to my work. So either my big gun wasn’t big enough, or something else was awry.

Do you think I could have done something differently? Got any tips for next time?

(Wine picture from oodora.com.)

Since three of my closest companions all believe it’s possible, I’ve begun a quest to see if they are right - and will begin a blog series about my experiences. I hope they are right. Then when I say, “I work in IT,” I don’t get the usual “Ah. Sorry, I think my friends are calling me.”

Here is some background.

My wife is a doctor.  She has all manner of stories about her field. Funny ones, sad ones, astounding ones, you name it. When people find out she is a doctor, subsequent conversation often leads to her either relating an interesting story or others sharing their medical-related stories with my wife and the group. Another friend of ours is a lawyer and is full of tales of misfortune and misfits, while others are involved in robotics and genetic research, very contemporary and applicable topics for the times.

During one of these conversations, I noticed that, while my field of work and study (IT) was also pertinent and perhaps even more pervasive, IT is virtually never becomes a topic of conversation in groups - even groups of IT professionals. Interestingly, when I recently brought up using the Pythagorean theorem to figure out the height of a TV, the topic was pounced on.

I started wondering why there is such a difference and, with some help, came up with a few possible reasons:

1. Society views IT as tools and are only interested in their output - not their construction.
2. IT is, by its very nature, highly artificial and removed from anything human. (By contrast, robotics, while artificial, still has a large human element.)
3. The basic concepts and vocabulary needed to converse about IT are not within the social fabric; when doctors talk about headaches or heart failure, we immediately have a basic understanding of what those are. We don’t have a basic understanding of what programs are or why they crash.
4. IT people believe that their field is so esoteric or nerdy that it is uninteresting to the masses.
5. The masses believe that the IT field is so esoteric or nerdy that they don’t bother finding out more about it.
6. Because IT lacks an inherent human element, making IT stories dramatic and appealing to peoples’ emotions is difficult.

The question is: Can IT be framed or delivered differently so that it becomes a more interesting, more relevant topic of conversation?

What do you think?

Check back for more installments of in this series, or subscribe to my RSS feed!

1. Learn to learn.
2. Learn to teach.
3. Teach to learn.
4. Teach to teach.

Learn to learn. Learning is a skill. Figure out how to do this well, and everything gets easier.

Learn to teach. Take on the skills and responsibility of teaching others what you know and believe–then teach them what you know and believe.

Teach to learn. Two reasons here: First, teach others how to learn so that everything can get easier for them. Second, teach with the purpose of learning for yourself because the act of teaching teaches you twice as much as what you pass on.

Teach to teach. This is where the process comes full circle; show people how they can teach so that they can complete the growth-circuit and illuminate the world.

Sometimes you find yourself filling the role of an expert in a particular area in your job and having to educate colleagues about that area. However, despite how much of an expert you think you are, you will always come against resistance from people who have different ways of doing the same thing. In the end, if your idea is truly the better one, you must get buy-in from the right people to get your ideas adopted. Otherwise, no matter how good your ideas are, if no one buys into them, they (and eventually you) will get ignored.

I work in IT and have been recently put into a position, by my manager, of bringing a more structured development process to my department. I’ve cultivated some best-practices from leading experts in my field over the years that revolve around prioritizing scalability and flexibility over quick and dirty techniques. These practices, however, are quite contrary to the long-held practices of some of my team mates.

So far, I have been fortunate to receive very little resistance to the methods I have pitched to the team. So why am I writing this article about educating and influencing co-workers? Well, a particular co-worker of mine, whose background is couched in highly structured organizations, has commented on my success at mitigating resistance to my ideas. He has been frustrated that some of his own attempts to streamline the department have been met with hostility and can’t understand why I have succeeded where he has not. So I decided to pay attention to what factors could be contributing to my ability to persuade.

It’s common knowledge that the best way to get buy-in on an idea is to educate naysayers as to why your idea is superior to theirs. With some well thought-out arguments, you can brow-beat people into accepting your ways. However, I found that the delivery of those arguments is as important, if not more important, than the arguments themselves. Without proper delivery, you can create enemies instead of winning converts. And the way to win converts is to realize that, after all is said and done, the people you are trying to convince simply want to be respected. They may not like your ideas, but the last thing they want is to feel like they are stupid. Here are some ways to convince people get buy-in of your ideas without alienating the people who could become your biggest supporters. (All of this assumes that your ideas are, in fact, the better ideas).

When you are fielding suggestions and requests from other people, it can be very easy to immediately overrule them and focus on why your idea is preferential. Rejecting peoples’ ideas offhand can be bad for your career like a leaky fuel line is for your car - you may not notice the effects immediately, but when it gets bad, it will be too late. Instead, show them that you are taking their suggestion seriously, no matter how belligerently they present them. (Remember, people are often initially belligerent because they anticipate that you will be equally belligerent in response. Try not to take it too personally.) My top 7 ways for doing that are:

1. Furrow your brow and nod while looking off at a wall.
2. Listen to their entire argument before you respond. (Pause before response for effect.)
3. List the benefits of their suggestions back to them.
4. Use phrases like “consider carefully” and “important issue” when talking about their idea.
5. Feign uncertainty.
6. Give in.
7. Enlist the help of the greater group and credit the naysayer.

I used to work with a colleague, Kishore Nagururu, at Publix Super Markets who always impressed with his ability to sell his ideas (which were often the best ideas anyway). I noticed that, when teammembers objected to his ideas, he often furrowed his brow and nodded while looking introspective. His technique did a great many things. Firstly, it showed that he was genuinely interested in their ideas and considered them seriously. Secondly, it often got those people to stop talking before they started to repeat themselves. And thirdly, people were much more willing to listen to his arguments. How do I know it worked like that? I was often one of his objectors - and it worked wonders on me.

I used to read the Encylopedia Brown series of books as a youngster. Enclyopedia Brown was a child genius who could recall obscure facts instantly. One of the most useful things I took from his character was a technique he employed to prevent himself from appearing like such a know-it-all: Before responding to a question like “What is the longest river in the world?” he would pause as if he needed to think about it for a second, even though he knew the answer off the top of his head. That small pause to think, even if you don’t need to, pays huge dividends when influencing people because it shows you are not just out to prove you know more than they do.

Letting your teammembers know you listened to their arguments instead of simply hearing them is an extremely effective way of winning over hearts and minds. One of the best ways to do that is repeating back to them all the arguments they posed to you. Once you do that, you can quell any doubt that you misunderstood or ignored their ideas. This makes them more likely to listen to your arguments. Once again, you earn their respect by respecting them.

And while you are responding to their ideas, whether you already disagree with them or not, strategic use of phrases like “we should definitely weigh those factors” and “you bring up a good point” are money when it comes to winning cohorts. It shows that not only are their ideas worth considering, but that they could significantly influence your ultimate decision or trigger a bigger discussion. It makes them feel knowledgeable, important, and a part of the decision making process. In reality, one of the most effective ways to influence others is to allow them to influence you.

Pretending you are uncertain about whose idea is the best (even if you already know) can help ameliorate a strongly-opinionated co-worker. By pausing to think and saying you are really not sure whether ideas A or B are better, you can buy some time to “think” about it. What you are really doing is, of course, telling them that their idea is good enough to make you uncertain about your own idea. Then you can take that time to “weight” the pros and cons and pitch your conclusions later - even if you already know what your conclusion is.

Sometimes, if your idea is only marginally better, it might be more important, for the sake of the project and your relationship, to adopt the opposing idea. In those cases, the differences are probably more stylistic than practical, so go ahead and give into the idea, and give in without reservation. Something like: “That sounds good, let’s do that.”

And other times, a person just won’t let go of his or her idea and push you to implement it, despite using all of the techniques above. That scenario usually indicates a belief in a “current” way of doing things which differs from your “new” way of doing things. In those cases, you might need get the greater group involved and get buy in from all involved parties. How do you do that without looking like you’re trying to set up a lynch mob? Simple. After you pause for effect and furrow and nod, tell your co-worker that their idea brings up an serious enough issue that it warrants a discussion with the larger community. Then, during the right meeting, and with the go-ahead from your boss, pitch the issue to the team. Then present your idea and the opposing idea, while being careful not to attack your colleague’s idea. Instead, credit your colleague for bringing the important issue to your attention and allow the “panel” to weigh the evidence for themselves. If you are right, the team will back you, and your opponent will have to relent. If you’re wrong, or it doesn’t really matter, you’ll know what to do.

Either way, everyone gets educated on the right information, the best decision gets made, and everyone gets to move on. And, in the end, that’s all that really matters.

If you want to learn more about the art of pitching ideas, Guy Kawasaki is probably the guru on the topic (not to mention one of my personal heroes). His blog is a wealth of information.

If you liked, or didn’t like this post, or if you tried any of the techniques, please drop me a comment! I’d love to hear from you.